A new year is near and the dotStaff™ Support Team is beginning our review of metrics to determine our objectives for Service improvement in 2011. One of our team members felt strongly that our number one priority should be to reduce the average hold time that inbound callers experience when calling our support center. In an effort to win his case and get the team’s attention, he provided everyone with a listing of new (and humorous) hold messages that he suggested we use if we decided to continue without improvement to the on-hold metric.

My colleague was successful in driving home the point that we must pick the phone up faster and answer the questions more efficiently. It took just one read through these messages, quite a bit of laughter, and some bantering back and forth, and our Support Team’s number one 2011 objective was set. We will drive phone hold times to an average of less than 1 minute per call.

With the objective set and the additional idea of adding humor to our hold messages, I felt the need to share some of the humorous messages with you and invite you to suggest your own.  Although the message on our phone may not change; the exploration of such a change has become quite enjoyable. Are there messages you’d like to hear when you make a call to a customer support center? Are there messages you’ve heard when calling other organizations that were unique, humorous, or left you feeling happier then when you originally called?  Please share them here.

We hope these will even be funnier should you re-read them at the end of 2011!

Support Center “on hold” messages:

  • 1 Second: Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received.


  • 30 Seconds: Here at dotStaff, customer satisfaction is our #1 priority.  Therefore, if you receive a representative that is not courteous, please feel free to tell them to lighten up, as your problem is more important than the fact that they are having a bad day.


  • 1 Minutes: Because your call is so important to us, we are attempting to rush through the call we are currently on to avoid you having to hear a second time just how important your call is to us.


  • 1.5 Minutes: Your call is even more important to us than it was just a minute ago. Please hold patiently while it becomes more important.


  • 2.0 Minutes: If this is a call regarding payment, please hold for the next available representative.  If this is a call regarding time entry or bid activity, please hold for the next available representative.  If this is a call regarding a quick question about the use of the dotStaff software, please hold for the next available representative.  If your call is regarding a complaint about on hold wait times, please hang up and call again when call volume has reduced. Your patience is greatly appreciated.


  • 2.5 Minutes: You can’t believe how important your call is. We’ll be right here and while you wait, please know that your call continues to increase in importance to us!


  • 3.0 Minutes: Please note that all previous messages are meant in good humor in order to distract you from realizing just how long you have been waiting.  These messages are in no way meant to discredit the importance of your issue.  Thank you for waiting.



Although our office will be closed on December 24, 25, 31 and January 1, we will have emergency support coverage and can be reached by calling our standard support number: 317-806-6161.

We wish you the happiest of holidays and an extremely successful 2011!

What messages have you heard that made you laugh?  What do you most enjoy listening to when you’re waiting?  Please share them here!